Stand By You
by Wholock57
Summary: Ever since the Fall, John Watson had been struggling with mental illness. Sherlock Holmes only appeared to him through hallucinations and nightmares. But one day, Sherlock came back for real, and his time away made him realize his true feelings for John. Reunion fic w/ Johnlock fluff.
1. Chapter 1: Sherlock Returns

_**Author's Note: I wrote this story in changing perspectives. It is in 3rd person, but shifts between being more oriented towards John and more oriented towards Sherlock. This chapter is short, but the next one is longer.**_** _First fic, so please review! _**

* * *

Sherlock stood outside the door to 221B for a few moments. He almost didn't enter, fearing to have to see all the pain that he had caused John. Fearing that John might not even be there at all. But Sherlock missed the doctor more than he would have wanted to admit. After a deep breath, Sherlock closed his eyes and slowly opened the door to the flat. He began to ascend to the second floor, not knowing what waited for him in that room where he and John had spent so much time together. He gave the faintest grin when recalling the time that he had first walked into that room with John. That was so long ago...

* * *

As John was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper, he saw the door knob begin to turn. Mrs. Hudson was on vacation in Ireland, which meant that there was an intruder. John firmly grabbed his walking stick, stood up with some difficulty, and limped towards the door. The door began to open, and John saw Sherlock standing there, scarf and all, his head bowed and his face solemn. It was another hallucination...or a dream...John was sleeping in his bed...recently he hadn't been able to distinguish between dreams and reality. He started to back away.

"No, John," Sherlock said pathetically. "It's me. I'm back." His voice quivered. His strong, sure voice never quivered...

John still wasn't convinced. He shook his head and let out a nervous laugh. "No you're not. I see you everywhere, and you're not real. It's just an illusion like all the other times. You jumped! You're gone!" His voice rose with each sentence.

* * *

Sherlock glanced up at John for a split second and immediately looked down again. It took everything Sherlock had not to fall on his knees. He had kept up his expressionless facade for years, but the sight of John almost brought those walls crashing down. The limp was back, which was obvious by the walking stick. His normally firm hands were trembling, but not with rage. His eyes were blank, signs of how John was slowly slipping away from sanity. Sherlock couldn't meet those eyes.

He took a few more steps into the room, avoiding John's gaze. John took a few steps back, looking confused but not frightened.  
Sherlock walked to the window and stared out so that he wouldn't have to look at John. "I promise you, I'm real, John," he muttered, his voice still

trembling.

"Prove it!" John shouted. "Look me in the eyes and prove it!"

In one swift motion, Sherlock spun around, came within an inch of John, forcefully grabbed his hand and put it to his own chest. He stared down at the doctor in anticipation.

* * *

John closed his eyes, and he could feel the rapid thumping of the detective's heart. He opened his eyes, and recognition flooded into them. He slowly turned up his head to peer into Sherlock's pale blue eyes. It was all real this time. Sherlock was actually alive. "It's really you," he said, reassuring himself.

* * *

To Sherlock's surprise, John angrily pulled away from his grasp and began to storm off.

"I'm sorry, John!" Sherlock called out. John entered his room and slammed the door. "I'm sorry..."  
Sherlock, dazed and hurt, collapsed onto the couch, buried his head in the cushions and began to sob.


	2. Chapter 2: Here to Stay

**AN:_ 2nd and final chapter! Hope you enjoyed the first. This one has some Johnlock action (nothing explicit though)._**

**_Enjoy! And please review!_**

* * *

John didn't emerge from his room until 7:00 that night. To his surprise, Sherlock had prepared dinner.  
Sherlock set John's dinner on the abnormally clean table. Avoiding his gaze, he walked back into the living room and began to pace. For once, Sherlock was hungry, but he didn't know if he would be able to keep his food down.

* * *

After dinner, John silently returned to his room. Sherlock eventually fell asleep in his armchair.  
He awoke a few hours later to the sound of John frantically screaming his name. Sherlock sprang out of his chair and dashed to John's bedroom. When he burst through the door, he saw that he was still asleep, but frantically tossing and turning about. The sight broke his heart.

* * *

John saw him standing on the roof of St. Bart's. He spread his arms out and leaned over the edge. John began yelling his name, but it was no use. Sherlock went over the edge and flopped onto the pavement like a rag doll. John continued to scream. When he woke up, he saw Sherlock's concerned face looming over him, his hands on John's shoulders. John shot up, breathing rapidly.

* * *

John fell into Sherlock's arms, and Sherlock clutched his head to his chest. John, still breathing heavily, let the tears flow from his face. "You're alright, John. Shhhhh. Just breathe," he coaxed. Sherlock had never let his emotional guard down like this, but he needed John to know he cared. Sherlock knew why he hadn't spoken to him since he had returned. He felt abandoned and betrayed. And that wasn't a feeling he ever wanted to instill in John again.

"I'm sorry, John," Sherlock mumbled after a few moments.

"Why did you jump?" John asked hysterically through his tears. "Why did you have to bloody do it? You're always trying to prove how damn clever you are!"

"John-"

John pulled away from Sherlock, his tone becoming angry."And then you leave me here thinking you're dead for 8 months! Don't you realize what this has done to me?"

Sherlock sat there silently for a few seconds, trying with all his might to hold back his tears. Eventually, he just let them come. "Of course I know what it's done to you..."he replied shrilly, turning his head away. John felt stupid. He'd forgotten just how much Sherlock could observe...and he had never seen so much pain in the detective's eyes.

"And it kills me, John!" Sherlock continued. "When I saw you again today, I...I was thankful that you were even alive. And it took me a few seconds to look at the state you were in and realize that you would rather be dead. And I know it's all my fault and I'm so sorry." This time, Sherlock collapsed into John's arms, breaking down into hysterics. John collected himself and held Sherlock close, hoping he would never lose him again.

"I couldn't kill myself. I tried. Several times. First with a gun. Later with pills. But Mycroft put me under higher surveillance, and someone always stopped me before I had the chance to go through with it. I think he stationed people in the flat above."

Sherlock shivered under John's embrace. John knew why...because Sherlock couldn't protect him when his older brother could.  
Sherlock pulled away, stood up, and began to pace nervously.

"Sherlock, why did you-"

"I had to, John," he replied. "To save you." John looked puzzled. Sherlock continued. "Moriarty sent a sniper after you. And if I didn't jump, he was going to kill you. And I couldn't let that happen...as vile as I am, it wouldn't be fair if you had died so I could live."

"Sherlock, you're not-"

Sherlock stopped and faced John. "Yes, I am! And I paid for it. The reason it took me so long to come back was because I needed to wait for the questions to die down. I needed it to get to the point where everyone would just forget about it. And you had to pay, too. And that's not fair."

John stood up and walked behind Sherlock. He put a hand on either shoulder and rested his head in the middle of Sherlock's back. Sherlock looked to the ceiling, closed his eyes, and let out an audible exhalation of breath.

"Those 8 months were the hardest of my life," said Sherlock. "But what kept me going was that I needed to come back home to you. I wish it hadn't taken that to make me realize how much you mean to me..."

John spun him around so they were face to face. Sherlock leaned his forehead to rest it on John's. John gently clutched Sherlock's face with both of his hands. Sherlock was startled, but he lifted a hand to softly caress John's cheek.

"I asked you for one more miracle," John whispered. "And you gave it to me. I hope it wouldn't be too much to ask for one more."

John's hands tensed, and he leaned forward to softly kiss Sherlock's lips. Once again, Sherlock was surprised, but it felt so right. Sherlock's lips became hard, and he kissed John back with intensity and desire. He slipped his hands down to John's waist, pulling him closer. He was never going to let John go. John needed to know he was there.

John hoped this bliss would never end. After the long months of sleepless nights, hallucinations, and suicide attempts, he finally had Sherlock back. And he wasn't going to let anyone tear them apart again. Sherlock held John closer, and he knew that the detective was thinking the same thing.  
John broke the kiss to begin lightly pecking at Sherlock's neck. He ran his hands up and down the detective's back.

"John?"

"Mmm?"

"Why didn't you take your meds?" Sherlock asked, noticing the full pill bottles siting on John's dresser.

John pulled away and took Sherlock's hands in his. "The nightmares and hallucinations were the only ways that I could see your face again," he replied.  
Sherlock pulled John close again, locking him in a deep embrace. "I'm here now, John," Sherlock said quietly. "I'm here to stay forever. And I'll stand by you and never leave." He kissed the doctor's forehead and brought his lips to his right ear.

"I love you, John Watson."

Sherlock looked upon John's face. They looked into each other's eyes; Sherlock into blue-grey and John into pale blue. They each saw themselves reflected in the other's eyes, and they knew that nothing could part them from now on.

"I love you, too, Sherlock Holmes."

And with that, their lips met again.

They held nothing back. After all the pain they had experienced, they wanted nothing but each other.  
Sherlock laid next to John and watched his sleeping face. He had never seen that beautiful, beautiful face at such peace. That face that he had missed for so long. The one that he yearned for every night for 8 months. The last face he saw before he jumped. The face that always stood by him, no matter what. He gazed at that face and grinned.

He knew he was home.


End file.
